By Kim MoraghanOctober 5, 2018
I have an inner voice…It knows. I sense it speaking this morning.
It seems to communicate most loudly and clearly at 6 am when the rest of my world is still and only the birds serenade what is already speaking within. The voice often has a story, but there’s more…it’s a knowing.
Taking advantage of the stillness, I stow myself away in a sacred space to listen more closely. Once in my seat, I look around and immediately know that this morning I chose the wrong chair. While it is the one I prefer, today it feels incorrect. I try to sense why it is not the right spot and it comes to me quickly.
My view? The open garage…a project still in progress. As I reposition myself to change seats for a preferred and more peaceful outlook, something stops me. …WAS this the wrong view for me this morning?
I sense the Lord's invitation to listen more deeply--My curiosity is piqued and I accept.
Settling back into my chair, I reflect…How did it get like this? What is wrong with me that I can’t stay on top of keeping my world in order?
Often during the cold winter months, a steady collection of items gather in the garage. The generous space accommodates what I am able to ignore “due to temperature”, waiting patiently for a magical day when the weather breaks and these items can be returned to their rightful spots. But this year the temperature stabilized, summer came, and those items still taunted me from their position in the garage. In the winter, things go missing. I am convinced that throughout the cold months, those items made friends and grew until the front of the garage was neatly packed with nameless items. Arranging the clutter neatly throughout the winter allowed me to dismiss it. CLUTTER. I. HATE. CLUTTER.
The song of a bird catches my attention and the Lord invites me to look at the landscape beyond the garage. I smile as I notice the beautiful trees and foliage that flank the house; each wisely growing towards the light.
Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth
each of them by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing. --Isaiah 40:26
“Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.”
Not one of them is missing…Wait, this is it! How have I never noticed this verse before? It instantly connects to the voice within. Somehow in a wordless place, I am afraid I will ‘miss it’ or ‘go missing’, so I work hard to keep myself okay… what I need is full confidence in is HIS GREAT POWER AND MIGHTY STRENGTH. I have historically been afraid I am going to miss ‘it’. Mulling this over I try to quantify what I sense inside when I sense the voice say…Shhh, you don’t have to figure it out, just be…remember? But that’s kind of it, isn’t it, I’m always trying to figure it out so I don’t miss it?
but “BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT POWER AND MIGHTY STRENGTH…
Not one of them is missing.”
I take a deep breath and just sit with that for a moment.
As I finally stop thinking, I realize how deeply tired I am.
Because of His great power and mighty strength, rings quietly in my head. I want to rest in that.
Sensing a need for inner rest, I commit myself to a full 10 minutes of silence and stillness…silence and stillness just. for. me.
As I lay on the floor relaxing and sinking in to that quiet place, I set my computer to the side.
Startling me out of stillness my phone buzzes reminding me that I am always available…but not today. Not right now. I turn of the phone, re-set the timer and try again.
I settle in and I become aware.
of the places of tension in my body.
of the squirrel on the branch overhead.
of the calls that it’s too early to make.
I notice these and then I let them go. Time and again I practice this-awareness and letting go.
Certain that I have anticipated 10 minutes correctly, I pick up my phone to check the time. THREE MINUTES STILL TO GO? …ugh…I am not very good at this stillness thing sometimes. But I am just learning, I can give myself grace.
I realign myself and re-focus…
Stillness… Silence… The next 3 minutes go quickly and the sound of chimes catch me by surprise when they alert me that time is up.
Whelp…that wasn’t perfect, but it was a start, I tell myself.
I climb back into my chair and look at the garage again. What is actually in that pile? What is still in there? Trying to make out what is left of the clutter, I notice a huge bag of original Lincoln Logs I found for my nephew… a real treasure! I smile to myself remembering the find. That isn’t clutter, it just hasn’t arrived to its home yet. That TREASURE will bring hours of fun and play to someone I love. A vacuum cleaner and cleaning supplies serve as a reminder of all the deep cleaning I have been doing…that isn’t clutter either, the cleaning just isn’t done yet, it’s in process.
Ah…process…He reminds me again that I push for the finish, but He is in the process…how quickly I forget!!
And in that moment, somehow all those items went from clutter to treasure. Just. Like. That.
Process is kind of like that you know, the picture doesn’t always tell the whole story. What initially looks like junk, trash, and clutter might actually be useful, unique, and pure treasures.
What looks like complete destruction might actually be new construction…something in the process of being formed.
Today my inner voice tells me that:
- I don’t have to know it all.
- I don’t have to always be fully aware,
- I just have to trust in His power and strength.
He’s not going to let me MISS IT…He loves me too much.
Jesus, show me in little ways today that I can see your power and might because they are all around me.
Kim Moraghan graduated from Ashland Theological Seminary with a master's degree in Clinical Pastoral Counseling, serves as the Director of the Certificate Program in Formational Prayer, works as a licensed clinical counselor and has a ministry in formational prayer.